How Do I Start Loving Myself Again?
Let’s be real. Loving yourself isn’t always easy. Life throws curveballs, people let us down, and sometimes we end up being our own harshest critic. You might feel like you’ve lost touch with who you are, or that you don’t deserve kindness.
Self-love isn’t about being perfect or always feeling amazing. It’s about treating yourself with the same care and respect you’d give to someone you love. And the good news? You can rebuild it, step by step.
Let’s talk about how.
1. Notice Your Inner Voice
We all have that little voice in our head. Sometimes it’s supportive, but often it’s critical: You’re not good enough or You messed that up.
Start paying attention to what that voice says. Would you talk to your best friend like that? If not, it’s time to change the script. Try replacing harsh thoughts with kinder ones:
– “I always mess up” to “I’m learning, and that’s okay.”
– “I look terrible” to “My body deserves kindness and care.”
It takes practice, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.
2. Take Care of Your Basics
It’s hard to feel good about yourself if your body is running on empty. Self-love often starts with really simple habits:
– Eating nourishing food (not punishment, not restriction, just real fuel).
– Drinking enough water.
– Getting enough sleep.
– Moving your body in ways that feel good.
These basics aren’t extra. They’re signs to yourself that you matter.
3. Set Boundaries
Sometimes the reason we feel drained and resentful is because we say yes when we really want to say no. Self-love looks like protecting your energy. It’s okay to:
– Say no to things that don’t serve you.
– Take time for yourself without guilt.
– Walk away from relationships that hurt you.
Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re healthy.
4. Do Small Things That Bring You Joy
You don’t have to wait for a big life change to start feeling better. Joy can come from tiny, daily things:
– Listening to your favourite music.
– Getting some sunshine.
– Reading a book you love.
– Having a hot cup of tea.
– Spending time with people who make you laugh.
These little acts remind you that you’re allowed to enjoy life.
5. Let Go of “Perfect”
Self-love doesn’t mean having it all together. It means being okay with being human. That includes making mistakes, having messy days, and not living up to impossible standards.
Instead of chasing perfect, try aiming for real. Loving yourself means accepting your flaws and still knowing you’re worthy.
6. Heal What’s Hurting
Sometimes the reason we struggle with self-love is because of old wounds (trauma, abuse, heartbreak), or years of being told we’re not enough. If that’s true for you, know that healing takes time, and you don’t have to do it alone. Talking with a therapist, coach, or trusted friend can help you release the weight of the past.
7. Start Small, Stay Consistent
Self-love doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built in small, consistent ways, like speaking kindly to yourself once a day, taking five minutes to breathe, or reminding yourself that you deserve good things. Over time, these little choices add up to big shifts.
You Are Worthy
If you’re asking, How do I start loving myself again? it means that deep down, you already know you’re worthy of love. That part of you is still there, it just needs some nurturing to come back to the surface.
Remember, you don’t need to earn self-love. You already deserve it, exactly as you are.
So take the first step today. Choose one small act of kindness for yourself. Let that be the start of something beautiful.